October 6: Dave gets gas in his car, mentally complaining about the continual high price of gas. He vows to do nothing about it if not elected.

October 2: Dave goes to the local Shopmart and buys a bag of rolls, a half-gallon of 2% milk, and a candy bar. He decides not to reveal the brand of candy bar, as to avoid showing partiality during his non-campaign.

September 28: Dave sleeps most of the night, rising only once to use the bathroom. It turns out to be a false alarm.

September 26: Dave gets gas in his car, mentally complaining about the continual high price of gas. He vows to do nothing about it if not elected. He also make fun of Cherie, his best friend's wife, since it is her 30th birthday.

September 25: Dave empties the mousetrap before his wife can use the corpse in one of her numerous biological experiments at Rutgers. He drinks a liter of Coke and feels perkier afterwards.

September 24: Dave goes to church and sings out of key. Later, sensing the imminent approach of the lifeless winter, he buries the sorrow in his heart and mows the yard for the last time. Afterwards, Niki thanks him and puts away the rolling pin.

September 19: Dave works really hard to have the weekly paper ready by Thursday morning, as he does every week. He stays up late.

September 14: Dave eats two glazed donuts for breakfast. He eats a pizza for lunch, picking the cheese off the last two pieces since he was tired of the dough. He decides to try the pepperoni-and-ham combination the next time, since the sausage was not as spicy as he would have liked.

September 12: Dave is offered ice cream by a coworker but refuses it, as it has chips in it and he only likes plain vanilla. He accidentally combs his hair and three people in his immediate family no longer recognized him. His daughter Eowyn cries and hides under the bassinet when he comes home.

September 10: Dave gets gas in his car, mentally complaining about the continual high price of gas. He vows to do nothing about it if not elected.

September 7: Dave has an itch under his left ear. He scratches it.

September 5: Dave crosses the street twice as he heads to work. There are no mishaps, although he pauses to pick up a discarded coffee cup and throws it into the public waste basket at the corner of 5th and Union.

September 4: Dave gets gas in his car, mentally complaining about the continual high price of gas. He vows to do nothing about it if not elected.

September 1: Dave forgets that it's September. He still thinks it's July.

August 24: Dave turns 30. Half of his brain cells die. The other half turn off for some much needed rest. Luckily, even having the word "politician" mentioned in the same sentence as one's name allows a person to function without any brain capacity whatsoever. Dave shows no ill effects, even when he receives a GIF of the Ghost of Christmas Future via e-mail from his best friend.

August 18: The non-campaign for the Senate has been underway for some time now. Dave mows his lawn, gathers the clippings in a bag, and discards them for the garbage men to pick up. He watches some TV, reads a book, talks to Niki, and goes to bed. He has trouble sleeping, but eventually he does.

August 14: Dave trims the hedge. Later he eats lunch, and plays with Eowyn.

August 10: Dave is recognized on a street corner, but only in his civilian officer, rather than his non-candidate status. When he mentions that he is not running for Senate, his acquaintance admits that he knew that.

August 5: Dave calls his best friend on the phone. They talk about projects. Later they hang up. Dave uses the bathroom three times during the day. He also eats some junk food and drinks Coke. Finally he goes to bed.

August 1: Dave answers the phone once and tells off a telemarketer. The telemarketer calls back later. Dave hangs up. He works on some articles for the paper. When he gets home, he cleans off the kitchen counter.

July 28: Dave works hard at his job. Eventually he comes home, eats some food, and goes to bed with his wife.