INTERNATIONAL: WUGANAKI
Land of darkness, trees, and pain, where the shadows always reigns! Sick of sunburn? You won't find much here. Sure, it exists, but straying away from the treeline's a pretty bad idea. And if long walks at night make you sick, we guarantee if you get caught outside at night, you won't waste time walking! The land with a spirit in every jug, and we ain't talking booze! Where aftertaste and afterlife are all about the same thing.
"In Search Of" the Batresh
Find the truth behind the hype! Does an unspeakable terror lurk within the impenetrable dark of the tikitangi flats? Does the Wuganaki quintessential bogeyman, the Batresh, really suck out the soul of its victim, then hide inside its fleshly husk, to eventually infiltrate and devour the entire tibu before its members know what's happening -- or is that just a great spook story to make the kids shut up for bed?
Well, there's only one way to find out, and with all the excitement of cow-tipping to boot -- except that this target tips back! Get a harpoon, a torch, and a pat on the fanny as the Wuganaki send you out to discover the creature of their nightmares -- in search of the Batresh. It's not only twelve dark hours of excitement, it's a night where the darkness might never end!
 | Legal Disclaimer: Leonard Nimoy not included in tour. |
Wuganaki "Welcome Wagon"
Everyone loves a party, and no one throws a welcome shin-ding quite like the Wuganaki. It's hospitality like you've never seen before, xenophobe style. (We don't know what that means, but it's got to be exotic!)
We coach you with all the right words, then wind you up and let you go at those secret groves of trees where the Wuganaki isolate their homes. That big climb ahead of you will be sure to bring out the cheery glow, and get that attention you definitely want! We promise that, once you find a tibu's hideaway, they'll be all over you with gifts of wooden staves, bows, and anything else they can get their hands on. Participating in the Dance of the Giant Porcupine has never been so much fun!
Don't worry. They're only flesh wounds.
| Legal Disclaimer: Might be more than flesh wounds. Please consult a real physician before determining extent of injuries. |
Powder Up with Ritual Face Scarring!
Every Wuganaki mother ritually scars her newborn child's face, coating the wounds with ashes and dyes that stain for life, to identify that child's tibu. Why should newborn babies have all the fun? You'll begin this trip under the care of an old Wuganaki physician we've acquired, only too happy to carve your face with his wooden knife and then paint your wounds. Watch out for that palsied hand!
Afterwards, test out your new passport to various tibu and see if they permit you entry based on your distinctive new look. At the very least, you'll always be able to make conversation at parties!
"I Don't Get 'No Spiritual Satisfaction"
Descend into a chaotic paranoid mess of a world where only the unseen spirits can be trusted for stability, sunlight, and sustenance -- courtesy of the Wuganaki.
Pick the tibu you desire, study their problems so you know what they're up against, then watch the masterful bartering skills of the tibu shaman at work in real-time! We guarantee you'll never look at things in the same way again, especially after the tibu shaman earns peace from the spirits in exchange for a few minor conveniences -- a little food, a little wood, heck, maybe even a tourist or two! Here at Smiley's, we promise our customers top billing.
Enjoy your walk on the wild side and the afterlife!
