Before I heard of Smiley's, I was fat, lazy, and miserably alone. In my dark funk, I'd go through tarts and pastries like dhukla would go through a nursery. But after just two weeks on the Raag tour, with its own special blend of cuisine, spelunking, and life-saving sprints, suddenly I had a waistline again! Now I'm back home, and although I can't say I'm not miserable, at least I'm skinny, and my thyroid just isn't stopping!
My marriage was pathetic, the kids were always underfoot, and I had no clue how to fix any of it. Things seemed hopeless -- until a friend shared a brochure about Smiley's Last Resort Travel Agency. After just one visit to Guiseppe's Dhukla Farm, where I convinced my family to sit down and "Dine with the Dhukla," a great load seemed to lift from my shoulders, and I felt freer than a rabbit in spring! Now I can sleep in the middle of the bed every night, the toys are never strewn about, I can come home as late as I want, and I even feel good about myself because I made a difference in some dhuklas' lives. Thanks, Smiley's! It's just like the promotion says: "End-of-a-lifetime vacations, for you and your entire family!"
My boss sent me on a Smiley's tour. He said I really deserved it, because of the quality of the work I was doing. I had no idea what he meant until after I experienced the Talmadge Sea fishmonger tour. I was out there for four long weeks. Now I can truly say that I'm glad to be alive, and my work production has increased seven-fold.
I looked long and hard for the best agency on which to spend my hard-earned luxury money, and I'll say it now, once and for all time: "Waste no time in considering a tour with this agency!"
Um... well, you shouldn't believe that I got paid for this endorsement. Because I didn't. I swear. But it's so true that Smiley's "goes places no one else dares, to experience what can't be forgotten, even if you live be a thousand." Which definitely won't happen. No, I'm not kidding. It won't.
Just six months ago, I was a staunch atheist! I thought that Elandra's Circle of Holy Light was for dingbats and that Onanists were two-faced. Then I took a Smiley's tour, and my life changed. After only three days on the battlefields of Charn, I regained a fervent interest in prayer and helping the poor. Now I'm a talbot in training. Smiley's definitely made my trip a religious experience!
" I wasn't really planning a trip. What happened was that I bought some windows last summer, and then some nut told me I'd won a discounted tour package with Smiley's. I was skeptical, and more than a little nervous, before the trip began. But after it started, I swear I was willing to pay ANY price to finish that vacation!"
