ANDESTREA: JAL-MASAL
Aw, Jal-Masal, land of grapes and honey and the politicians that levy huge tariffs upon them. Visit this beautiful seaside province, speckled with white capital buildings and the cruise ships marked for revelry and destruction. Let's face it, politicians, wine, and large crusing vessels just don't mix. (Unless you're directing Titanic.)
The Wreck of the Lenardi Titanius
Everyone knows the tale of the Lenardi Titanius -- the cruising ship especially designed to cross the Talmadge in search of the Lost Empire, but vanished only a few hours out of harbor. Where did it go? What sent it on that fateful journey to the ocean floor? Speculation runs amok, but roaming fallows pockets, mysterious sea monsters, and tipsy sea captains all head the list.
Here's your chance for bold exploration. Utilizing the newest diving technology (involving a length of rope and a very large rock), you'll travel to the muck-covered sea bottom in search of this lost queen of the ocean. (Ballast was never so easy!) Just make sure you hold that breath -- it's almost a mile to the bottom, and you want to be sure you can see the magnificent remains that sparked a nation's imagination and folly.
Fishing Expedition
Born with a seaman's legs? Love a hearty mug of brine to wash down your eggs in the morning? Ever wanted to say, "Arrg, matey?" and really know what you were talking about? Now you can travel south and leave solid ground behind, as you explore the wilds of the Talmadge Sea on a Jal-Masal fishing vessel!
After your first four days of vomiting, you'll live the adventure that most people only dream about. Work through the dark of morning, as the harsh ropes of the crab cages flay the skin from your palms! Bathe in the stink of fish as you gut your catch and throw the chum portside, drawing magnificent crowds of curious, slightly peckish sharks! Snuggle up in the bunks with a rowdy crowd of crusty old toothless deckhands! Watch as twenty-foot waves toss your boat on the ocean like a toy, threatening at any moment to send you on a one-way trip to the Talmadge's muddy bottom!
Besides, whether or not you remember, fallows drift, and half the fun is not knowing where.
By the time your vacation ends, your breeches will be so stiff with salt, they'll stand up on their own, and you with them! We swear you'll carp, "Holy mackeral!" if you miss the boat on this one! Don't flounder around, grab your one whale of a chance for rod-n-reel adventure!
Attend the Grand Assembly
With Andestrea being a loose confederation of provinces, someone needs to take charge, and Jal-Masal's history as the capital of the Lost Empire gives it the clout to set wide-scale policy even to this day. So pack up your bags, wear your best clothes, and go out for a month on the Assembly floor!
Find up-and-coming assembly members to which you'll need to attach yourself, suck up to powerful lobbying groups, and, if you get caught in any compromising entanglements, just remember those key words: "I don't recall."
 | Limited Time Offer! For a limited time, we've hired on Assembler Geoffson Willus Clintius as personal trainer in the art of tickling itching ears. Clintius has been tickled ears, elbows, and other unmentionable body parts more times than Preston Smiley has destroyed a friend's business, and still managed to come out on top each time, with higher ratings among provincial rulers than ever before! So bring your best blue dress and a box of expensive cigars, we guarantee you'll be riding high before the night is through. (Smiley's: We feel your pain.) |
