ANDESTREA: Hinsonne
Welcome to Hinsonne, land of song, dance, and mental hedonism. (Well, that's what the Circle says, but they can bite our butts.) Ruled by the galvin, the philosopher king, you'll see lots of folk just standing around with dazed looks in their eyes as they ponder the true realities of the universe and don't waste time with simple city maintenance.
Diggle's Annual Artiste Extravaganza
This annual showcase of artistic talent is the highlight of the Hinsonne calendar. Every 23 Hinsas, reigning galvin Paulos Greppe sponsors a festival of verse, sonnet, and song commemorating the premiere performance of provincial poet Diggle, whose verses composed for the birthday of the galvin's daughter made sinus drainage a topic of household conversation. A gaggle of aspiring artists annually persist in Diggle's style, grasping for that ever-illusive immortality bequeathed to the worthy.
The Diggle Festival is the one place where you can smash ripe pumpkins with a hammer, sling goose droppings at a mud-soaked canvas, or expand the process of tooth decay into a four-part opera rife with court intrigue, religious anecdotes, and epic battles between good and evil, all under the auspicious banner of "art" -- and even get government backing, to boot.
Guiseppe's Delectable Dhukla Farm
Do they generate spontaneously, like flies, or do those ugly-mother dhukla actually court each other with civility, bearing bouquets of flowers and bags of chocolates? And if they really have faces that only a mother could love, does that detract from the amośr in the air? Well, we recently discovered that, whether or not dhukla reproduce like normal folk, it sure ain't for lack of trying!
Come check out Guiseppe's Delectable Dhukla Farm, where a large excavation exposes the secret workings of a Grunk lair behind a mostly durable window/wall of translucent oilskin! Have all your questions answered, and more! Watch 'em squirm in the dirt! Watch 'em eat raw meat! Watch 'em come out at night and tear off your...
Well, usually it's as fun as watching the ants in your brother's terrarium. Just don't lean too hard against the paper.
 | Legal Disclaimer! Smiley's is not liable for customers who lean too hard against the paper. |
| Limited Time Offer! For an extra 70 domars, you can "Join the Dhukla For Dinner!" Dhukla don't wear clothes, and neither should you. Just douse yourself with the body fluids of your favorite livestock, then join these ravenous fallows-spawn for a special meal you'll remember for the rest of your life! In no time at all, we guarantee they'll be eating out of hand, arm, and even chest cavity. Bon appetite! |  |
The Toreau
Designed and commissioned by the current galvin, Paulos Greppe, the Toreau is a refuge for freethinkers all across Andestrea. Boasting the largest eunuchs-operating system in the province, the Toreau is a bastion of obscure and dry philosophy that has no bearing on real life at all. Give the appropriate commands to the galvin's eunuchs, and you'll uncover virtually unlimited information about any topic in the library. Soon you'll be asking questions like:
- Who put the bop in the bop-shoo-bop-shee-bop?
- How much is that dhukla in the window?
- Why is rain wet?
- Does everyone really see the same exact shade of blue, or is your blue really my purple?
- Is there such a metaphysical construct as free will, or are people just helpless pawns in the machinistic operation of a mostly uncaring and periodically malicious universe?
You'd have to be mad to pass up on the answers to the universe's most irrelevant mysteries! It's all you never wanted to know, about things you don't even care about!
| Limited Time Offer! Always seeking to upgrade his system, the galvin constantly takes new eunuchs under his belt! Got a good mind and a terrible dating life? This could be the occupation of a lifetime, if you can make the cut. Don't leave yourself dangling. |
