Don't wait for the movie, read the free e-text! For scamps too cheap to spring for a "Lord of the Rings" boxed set, the Tolkien UseNet has graciously offered to provide an electronic copy, free of charge, as compiled by members! Don't be surprised, however, if there are a few... err... deviations from the original. [Hint: It's a parody.] Our very own Smirkov Grinn contributed Book Five, Chapter Three ("The Blockbuster of Rohan!" starring Richard Dreyfuss, Cousin Otto, and the Dwarf Acrobatic Team! Huzzah!) (And for big laughs, don't miss O. Sharp's "Voice of Saruman," where we uncover the REAL villain of the story!)

Stay current on new humor, company news, & promotions -- join the Soulless Ones mailing list! Recent Additions to the Brothers Grinn store include: Beware of the Garden Gnome! Cousin Otto vs. The Cat in the Hat Stay tuned for more, including: * Larry the Lemur * Dwarf Acrobatic Team * Sharkbait!

Little Miss Everything Beauty Pageant: Missed out on voting for 'Little Miss Everything 2001'? Think you could have done better yourself? Have your pageant personality analyzed by our handy-dandy 12-question quiz! You might be shocked at how well (or poorly) you measure up... (Guys, don't feel neglected -- we even have a special personality for YOU.) Smiley's Last Resort: "End of a lifetime vacations, for you and your family!" Never took a trip you didn't like? Then try out Smiley's Last Resort, for those special vacations exploring the mythical realm of Andestrea and its surrounding provinces! (Introductory Offer! Schedule ANY trip and receive a free copy of "Smiley's 'Last Will & Testament' Legal-Docs-in-a-Box!" software package! Don't leave your family in a lurch, leave them with someone who *really* cares -- a lawyer.) 'Civil War 2000' Special: Zany election coverage of what has to be the oddest conclusion to an otherwise ho-hum campaign for the Oval Office! Democracy and outdated voting methods don't get any wackier than this. (Well, unless you live in Albania.) Omphaloskepsis: A new social engineering plan? The christening name of the missing eighth Greek muse? The sound of a hypersensitive elephant walking through a sneezing powder factory? As profound as large words often seem, this one simply describes the art of "examining one's navel." Humorists have dark sides too: Here's where we wax philosophical. Chinese Vegetable Zodiac: Tired of celebrating Chinese New Year with the same old boring animals? Dogs, Rats, Snakes? Yeah, right -- sounds like cuisine! Wouldn't you rather be a Rutabaga or a Bonzai Tree? Uncover the secret aspects of your birth year and give vegetables the equal press they deserve! About the Brothers Grinn: Fascinated by the mysterious lives of Jocko and Smirkov Grinn? Got a school science project on simian behavior that you need some field study for? Got a sick obsession with Cousin Otto and don't want anyone to know? [Yes, Joanne, we've been inspecting our mail! And we're shocked! Utterly *SHOCKED*!] Here's where we expose ourselves, and put a little behind in our past to boot. Monkeybrains: Our reader forum for creative visitor contribution! Got poetry, anecdotes, and other things you'd like to share? Post 'em! Visit this and our other Ravensmyth forums, where you can comment on both the whimsy and flimsy of life! Scarred for Life: Is your life a comedy of errors? Has your existence been defined by "two steps forward, twelve steps back?" Do you believe that dysfunctionality is the one commonality that can bring all people together? Wonder how Dave Learn (AKA Jocko) has coped with not winning the Senate seat he was not running for back in Fall 2000? Read Dave's non-syndicated humor column and discover what has made him the man (*cough*) that he is today! Mailing Archive: The Brothers Grinn's first few months of humor mailings, archived here for convenience. Our entire last year of mailings is automatically archived on Topica.com, our mailing distributor.